mY sAnE iNsAnItY

"A" is for apple, and "B" is for Boat,
that used to be right, but now it won’t float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
but let’s be a bit more realistic instead.

Now, A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.
D is for dental decay and decline;
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line.

F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which I’d rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure–I’d rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend.
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new.

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.
T for tinnitus; there’s bells in my ears.

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that’s "dizzy" you know.
W is for worry, NOW what’s going round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.

Y is another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have–in my mind.

MeLaI

Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it’ll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I’ll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who’d guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who’s always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we’d decreed "most apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we’d all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren’t dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can’t wait as they’ve set the date;
Our sixtieth is coming, I’m told.
It should be a ball, they’ve rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;
My pacemaker’s been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I’ve bought a new wig and glass eye.

I’m feeling quite hearty; I’m ready to party,
I’ll dance until dawn’s early light.
It’ll be lots of fun; and I hope at least one
Other person can make it that night.

Hoy ikaw… ikaw na isang nilalang na umuusbong sa bukang liwayway ng walang hangganang kagandahan… oo, sabi ko nga maganda ka… kung kaya’t dapat mong i-click ang link na ito…

http://www.123mycodes.com/funny-video-clips/10.gif

i stared at this clip and wondered… ano kaya ang pakiramdam pag-ganyan ang mukha’t katawan mo… sa mga malilibog na mga tinginingining mga baklang manyakis dyan, naarouse rin ba kayo? sarap no?… mga ulol!